Issue 35, Final Fringe

Things I Never Thought I’d Say

by Kat Gonso Issue 19 07.19.2009

I earned an A in physics. Did the tiger attack you or did you attack the tiger? It wasn’t me, Officer. He wore cutoffs on the first date. I married him anyway. Sure, I’ll do karaoke. I underestimated The Clash. I don’t want kids (at least not with you). I’ll pay for the trip to Rome. I’m not in the mood. You’re burying me alive. Where’s the self-help section? The zoo burned down. I need another degree; zoology ain’t cutting it. Another corn dog, please. We didn’t start the fire. I can’t find the chicken suit. I’m not going to my sister’s wedding. Divorce papers; sign ‘em. I’m sorry I puked on your mother. We can’t be friends. Those oysters gave me hives.  I want a baby. Am I eligible for the loan? The cat caused an electrical fire. Crossword puzzles are easy. I don’t miss sleeping. Where can I get more Valium? I’m in love with my sister’s husband. Where should I hide? Seriously, I need that chicken suit. Things are looking up. We should run away. Two tickets to anywhere. The sex wasn’t as good as I expected. Do we have bedbugs? How do you say “no more eggs” in Spanish? Charge it to the room. Red-eye flight. Home is where the heart is. Sarah, Sarah, I’m so sorry.

Kat Gonso

Kat Gonso

Read More

Kat Gonso divides her time between her two passions: creative writing and teaching composition. She has been a reader for Chicago’s Other Voices, as well as Ploughshares. In 2009, Kat’s work has appeared in Pindeldyboz and she was recently announced as a finalist for The World’s Best Short Short Story Contest. Her work is forthcoming in American Literary Review and River Styx.