Eirean Bradley
V2:E10 Oct. 2000
THE DISGRUNTLED WOMEN'S CHORUS SINGS ACCOMPANIMENT ON THE BETA MALE BLUES
I answer the door
and 400,000 angry Emilys
are on my front lawn
waving slightly bent ticket stubs
to not matinee priced may i remind you
chick flicks
that their boyfriends refused to accompany them to
something about
the movie's at 4
and the Lions/Packers game doesn't end until around 5
and that's not counting overtime
which this game could possibly go into
and honey, can't we do it next weekend
it's only the Chargers next weekend
we can go next weekend, honey
400,000 angry Emilys are not satisfied
with this answer
and want me to explain
why men are so
disappointing
juvenile
obnoxious
insensitive
(insert 399,996 other applicable derogatory adjectives here)
Emily 26,569
used the word superfluous
I told her it might not mean what she thought it meant
400,000 angry Emilys are now burning
effigies of my intellectual smarminess
on my front lawn
neighbors from 8 miles away
are calling to complain
because the blaze and
the resulting glare from
all 400,000 pairs of the Emily's
rather attractive punk rock granny glasses
are making
it difficult to watch
Touched by an Angel
I tell them I understand their pain
withdrawals from Roma Downey's
unassuming Gaelic charm can be difficult
The Emily's have grown apologetic
I invite them in
but only if they are quiet
and well behaved
my roommate is sleeping, you know
Emily 309,097
flips me the finger
but is reminded of her manners
by Emily's 156,982 thru 171,098
I like that group
besides Emily 168,494 keeps smiling demurely and winking at me
she's a keeper
There's not enough room on the couch
so 14 Emily's sit on the floor
399,986 Emily's perched
like soon to be falling Wallendas
on my $50 floral patterned couch
want to know why
I am who I am
why I never hit on any of them
except #267,501
I was drunk
and later apologetic and she forgave me
She doesn't hold grudges
Why I never elaborate
on what they mean to me
and what we could be
and why do I find them attractive
I just pour the wine
kiss as many on the cheek as I can
and whisper
Okay, not really whisper
let's be realistic
there are 400,000 of them
because I like the fact that we
are just 400,001 people
that enjoy each others company
and that's
all right
by
me.
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Date of Birth:
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August 28, 1976
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Location:
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Pheonix, Arizona
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Email:
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ikilledpookie@hotmail.com
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Website:
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http://amplification.webjump.com
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Publications:
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Poetry Slam - the competitive art of poetry, Manic D Press, Blue Plate Special, A Prayer For Us All, OOf, East of LA West of Everywhere Else Important, Forbidden Panda, Freshpoetry.com, Fengi.com
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Awards:
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Three-time team semi-finalist at the National Poetry Slam, and "got a plaque for 'being a cool poet' from Mrs. Blechers' 8th grade class after teaching workshops there"
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