I. Oprah Apostolic

They come to us,

she says,

we make them new,

we give them bobs,

we give them boobs,

we give them zebra,

leopard,

pink chinchilla

boots,

some cry,

and Oprah wraps them in her arms,

then they return to Aqua Net
and bobby pins

and chicken farms,

and they are mommies,

all are lovely

in the eyes of Oprah

apostolic,

absolute,

who art:

embossed, brocaded, stuff, zipped,

snipped, flipped, poofed, wisped

and permanently waved.

Let us pray.

II. Marvelous Bug

Metallic-green

and silver-sheened,

a whirl on wing

and wound she is

evangel,

she is spangle,

an enameled,

polished, popey pod,

a prattlement of proxy God,

a shiny bob

to place in palm,

to watch her lift a wing

and rise

and curve

into the twitter of

the flitter of

the ya ti ya

ti da

da

dawn.

 III. For Nasal Congestion

Take one Oprah.

Fumy lozenge

clear my nostril.